Dream

Ajo nate ishte erresuar se tepermi dhe qielli kishte mar nje pamje te frikshme , mbylli syt me koken nga qielli dhe cdo gje kaloj ne nje dimension tjeter..
"Tashme cdo gje ka mar nje ngjyr te zbehte dhe po venitet ngadale bashk me mua..
Eshte sikur te mos jesh me, te mos flasesh apo te levizesh
Sikur te jesh e vdekur..
Po e vdekur, nuk e ndjej me trupin tim , nuk qesh dot e as nuk qaj dot..
Provoj te ha dicka por nuk i ndjej shije..
Eci, por nuk i ndjej hapat e mi..
Hap syte por cdo gje duket e turbullt..
Ve nje keng,por cdo tingull me duket shurdhues..
Zemra ime rreh por jo per mua, I ndjej te largeta rrahjet e saj..
Te vdesesh e gjall!!
Kjo eshte menyra me e tmerrshme e te vdekurit, te jetosh por te mos ndjesh asnje lloj gjeje..
As dhimbje as gezim..
Nuk di si te shprehem...nuk di te ndjej me...
Kam nje plage te pasherueshme ne shpirt..
Thone se koha sheron cdo gje, por per mua kjo gje nuk funksionon, koha eshte teper e dobet perball dhimbjes sime..
Ajo vetem te meson si te jetosh ne gjendjen ku je futur dhe ne momentin me te papritur te dergon ne rrugica kujtimesh thell ne zemren tende dhe prek plagen..
Eshte e tmerrshme te jetosh ne kete menyr ku edhe shpresa te shikon te pashpres...
Shikoj perreth dhe asgje nuk esht me njesoj.
Dielli nuk te ngroh me , ajri nuk me mbush me frym por me mbyt, cdo gje e embel me duket si helm..
Mungon ti, dhe cdo gje e till do jet pa ty..
E pakuptimte dhe e hidhur..
Do doja te kisha forcen te ndryshoja fatin, te te merja ne krahet e mia dhe te te mbroja..
E urrej veten qe nuk mund ta bej kte gje..
E shikoja teksa largohej nderkoh qe ndjeja nje dhimbje te forte ne kraharor..
As gjunjet nuk me mbajten me dhe perfundova ne toke..
Ishte tmerruese e di?
Nje ndjesi aq therese me pershkroj te gjith trupin dhe vdekja te me kish mar se nuk do dhimbte aq shum..
Humba nje pjes te shpirtit tim, ate me kryesoren,me te pariparueshmen dhe nuk ishte faji im..
Nuk eshte faji im
Une e dua..."
E trembur hap syt dhe veshtron perreth, ishte akoma erresire dhe kishte filluar te bente shum ftoht..
U struk nen batanije dhe mori pran arushin e saj te vogel si ne ate koh kur trembej nga fantazmat vetem se tashme e friksonte dicka akoma me e madhe..
E friksonte "E nesermja" !!

                                                -English Version-

That night had become excessively dark, and the sky had taken on a frightening appearance, closing her eyes with her head tilted towards the sky, and everything shifted into another dimension...

"Now everything has taken on a faded colour and is slowly fading along with me...

It's as if you're not there, not speaking or moving...

As if you're dead...Actually dead, I don't feel my body anymore, can't laugh, or even cry...

I try to eat something, but I don't taste it...I walk, but I don't feel my steps...

I open my eyes, but everything seems blurry...I sing a song, but every sound seems muted...

My heart beats, but not for me, I feel its distant beats... To die, but still breathing !!

This is the most terrifying way of being dead, to live but not feel anything...

Neither pain nor joy...

I don't know how to express myself... I don't know how to feel anymore...

I have an unbearable wound in my soul...

They say time heals everything, but for me, that doesn't work; time is too weak in the face of my pain...

It only teaches you how to live in the state you've been plunged into, and at the most unexpected moment, it sends you down memory lanes deep in your heart and touches the wound...

It's terrifying to live this way, where even hope seems hopeless...

I look around, and nothing is the same.

The sun doesn't warm you anymore, the air doesn't fill you with breath but suffocates you, everything sweet seems like poison...

You're missing, and everything's going to be without you...

It's incomprehensible and bitter...

I wish I had the strength to change fate, to take you in my arms and protect you...

I hate myself for not being able to do that...

I watched as you walked away while feeling a sharp pain in my chest...

Even my knees couldn't hold me, and I ended up on the ground...

It was terrifying, you know?

A feeling that described my entire body, and death would have taken me because it wouldn't hurt so much...

I lost a part of my soul, the most vital, the irreplaceable, and it wasn't my fault...

It's not my fault.

I loved.."

Trembling, she opened her eyes and looked around; it was still dark, and it had started to get very cold...

She curled up under the blanket and hugged her little bear as she did back when she was scared of ghosts, only now, something even greater frightened her...

She was afraid of "Tomorrow"!!